Judge John Hodgman on Dog Weddings

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Timothy writes: My wife wants to hold a wedding for our dogs. One is a Chihuahua, and my wife wants to make sure she can stay in the country after President Trump builds the wall. I love my wife; I love our dogs. We hold a birthday party every year for one of them. But a dog wedding seems a step too far.

It is so rare to get a hetero marital dispute in which the husband isn’t automatically wrong that I had to hear this case, even though there isn’t much to it. Dogs are not people. Your Chihuahua will not be deported, and to suggest as much is insensitive to the many actual foreign-born humans who are afraid to travel or even open their front doors these days. Now it’s entirely possible that this column may prompt an executive order against Chihuahuas tomorrow, but until then your fur family is safe. Have a dog privilege party instead.

 

*New York Times Magazine*

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